Mind your Manners

Manners - A person's social conduct viewed in the light of whether it is regarded as polite or acceptable or not.


Every parent wants their child to be well mannered. But how can we grade good manners. Is there is a specific preset or a baseline to follow... Nah!! Imagine in my grandpa's days, women hardly got a chance to speak. If they did they were considered ill mannered. Compare it with the lifestyle we live in now. Family decisions are hardly decided without consulting women. I am not trying to demean women here but what i intend is changing lifestyle brings about a change in how things are handled including manners. What was considered incorrigible 4 or 5 decades ago might be totally acceptable and appreciated at this age. But there are certain manners which can’t simply be forgotten.


Respect for age no matter who that is should never be compromised upon. On personal experience I have seen government officers, traffic policemen; transport employees take a liberty of this rule. You see a 35 or 40 yr old bus conductor addressing a 60 yr old man singularly on lack of loose change when purchasing a ticket. Isn’t it the duty of the conductor to hold loose change to help passengers? Even if the passengers don't have change there is certain degree in which conversations can be made to people no matter how old they are.

Other major issue is the consumer and supplier dilemma. Consumer is no bigger in any terms than a supplier. I noticed a teenager walking into a bakery filled with half a dozen people. He waits for hardly 2mins and seeing that the employees (just two of them) didn’t turn their attention towards him starts lamenting that people hardly care for customers these days. And drops in a hurting sentence stating how will India improve if customers aren’t treated properly?

Imagine an office situation... This again on personal experience.. Cafeterias during lunch breaks are usually crowded. But unlike a theatre where once u stand in the queue and purchase ur tickets and move off to your designated seat, a cafeteria doesn’t give that liberty. You are made to wait for seats and the most irritating part comes when you see a table housing four chairs taken but only one is actively munching on his food and the other three healthily chit chatting for god knows how long till he completes his meal. Imagine standing in a queue for 10 minutes to receive a meal and then search for a seat for 15 minutes and finally end up eating the cold food in 15 minutes. Of the 40 to 45 minutes spent during lunch more than half of it spent waiting which could or can be reduced if people realize basic manners.

I have seen people who have travelled abroad and come back commenting on the state of affairs and the difference in the way things are run in other countries compared to India. For instance a traffic sergeant catching an over speeding car walks up to the driver himself and doesn’t even ask the driver to get down instead addresses him or her politely and writes a ticket, hands it over and finally wishes him a good day. Can we expect a traffic policeman in India to do the same? (In your dreams I hear people say already). But think of it is it impossible? Agreed given the population and the amount of traffic we have here it’s difficult to handle things personally but it doesn’t mean mutual respect should be compromised.


Bottom Line - In India we prophesy that our culture is by far more conservative and well mannered than western countries but in reality is it so? Hardly!! In saying we need to become a developed nation we adopt a lot of new things from other countries e.g. lifestyle, way of work, process but can’t we also adopt the good things which they have established in their culture.